Broken Hearts and Dirty Windows
by L. D. Nicolescu
Summary: After a few years on not seeing each other, Kushina spends her first night with Minato, thinking that even though her old feelings for him were present, she would be able to hold herself back. Yet Minato has been in love with her since first grade, which complicated Kushina on her decision to leave.


**Broken Hearts and Dirty Windows**

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><p><em>"I had discovered that there was something more painful than falling in love with someone who hasn't fallen for you; hurting that person-hurting him and not being able to do anything about it."<em>

_Elizabeth Chandler, Legacy of Lies & Don't Tell_

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><p>Her hands explored the back of his neck only to fall down to his bottom, coping his butt. It wasn't something he thought she would do. Making out in the hall exposed them to any passerby who was eager to get back to their apartment, making the situation sexy but kind of awkward for anyone with eyes, yet her lips on his and her hands groping the his butt didn't feel any less pleasurable. Minato moaned slightly, moving his hands from around her waist to rest on cheeks, cupping her face tenderly. He was glad for her enthusiasm, really, he too wanted her to know exactly how much he wanted her, but the sudden tugging on his jeans waist made him chuckle with amusement. She couldn't possibly be that impatient, could she?<p>

Kushina took as step back, raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

"What?" she whispered, giving him an annoyed look.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking down at her with amused eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked back, wondering what was it all about?

"You are the one that's trying to get my pants off!" Minato raised his hands over his head in a sign of defense. "The idea simply made me laugh."

Kushina raised an eyebrow, her face contracting in annoyance. "I wasn't trying to get your pants off, you moron!" she crossed her arms over her chest. "I was trying to find the keys to your apartment! Making-out in the hall, as hot as it might sound, it's not as comfortable as being inside an apartment where people you know don't have the opportunity to run into you."

His grin broaden. "You were looking in the wrong pocket," he laughed, producing a pair of keys from his front pocket.

Kushina rolled her eyes. "How was I supposed to know that?"

"You weren't," he explained, playing with the keys. "It's my apartment."

Kushina tried not to comment on it. It wasn't her place to comment on his behavior. Leave it to him to keep his damn keys wherever he liked; plus she didn't want ruin the mood with one of her offhandedly comments. She knew just how fragile men ego could be. One silly comment an they were in your tail about it, plus she'd been hoping to get to see the inside of his apartment, but when his outstretched silence and constant gaze continued, her annoyance grew.

"Well?" she asked, looking at the door and then back at him expectantly. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"My, quite the frank one, are you?" Minato teased her, loving the way her cheeks turned a slight shade of red. "It's quite late, you know?"

His comment confused her, so she opened her mouth to ask for a clarification but stopped herself. This was all part of his game. It had been he who had kissed her a few moments ago, meaning she now had the upper hand here. She only had to know how to play it.

"You're right," she sighed, making a big deal of looking at her phone. "I should head home before the last train leaves. But thank you for a lovely evening."

Before she even had the chance to turn on her heels, Minato grabbed her by the hand, making her look at his face curiously.

"Or you could stay and maybe have some coffee?" he asked timidly. His gazed refused to meet hers.

She couldn't help the smile that stretched her mouth. "I hate coffee."

"Hot chocolate then?" Minato's gaze shot up abruptly, searching her face.

"I'm watching my weight," she teased, knowing his real intentions. It would be really boring if she were to give in too easily.

"I think I might have a diet one," he said slowly, before giving her a full fledge smile. "If we run out of things to talk about, we could always shove our heads in the oven."

Kushina laughed at his joke. "Sounds like a plan."

Minato intertwined their fingers and pushed the door open, looking at her over his shoulder. "I'm sorry is such a mess, but I wasn't expecting any company, so I didn't clean."

"Don't worry about it," she laughed, clapping his back playfully. "It can't be worse than my place."

And it wasn't. Apparently what Minato thought was a messy apartment were just a couple of empty soda cans over the coffee table, some dirty dishes in the sink and a pair or two of used t-shirts laying over the sofa. Compared to her place, this was squeaky clean. Good thing they had decided to come back here. It wasn't that she was embarrassed about her messiness, but she doubted that he would be that comfortable sitting on her underwear. She laughed at the thought of Minato blushing at her mess.

"This is pretty nice," she said, walking over the TV to pick a few cans. "I always pictured you more of a clean freak."

"Really?" Minato called from the kitchen. "Why would you think that?"

Kushina shrugged indifferently. "Beer?" she asked, taking one of the empty bottles.

"It's my girlfriend's," Minato called back, a soda in his hand. "She's a fan of getting drunk over some show."

"What show?"

"It's this morning show they air really early every morning? Anyways since most people are still up by then, she and some of her friends made a drinking game out of it."

Kushina frowned, more confused than curious. "What?"

"I assume you've never seen it?" slipping an arm over her shoulder, he led her to his bedroom. "The hostess of the show, she has a tendency of saying 'but um' a lot when she's interviewing people. The kids drink whenever she says it."

"How often does she say it?" she asked, sitting on his bed.

"Well, last time we finished a whole bottle of vodka in less than an hour..." Minato explained thoughtfully. There was still plenty of that night he couldn't seem to remember. "So, quite often."

She laughed. "I can't image you drunk."

"It's not a pretty sight," he grinned childishly. "That I can assure you."

Kushina shook her head. "Not possible," she patted the spot next to her. "You are one of the most beautiful people I know."

"You think I'm beautiful?" he asked, blushing a little. He'd been called pretty before, but never beautiful.

Kushina found out she quite like making Minato blush. "So beautiful," she murmured, drawing him close. "You're even prettier than I am."

"No way!" he laughed, pulling away. "You are definitely the prettiest girl I've ever met."

"Right. With hair like this?" she grabbed a strand to show him. "It's strangely colored."

"What? Would you prefer to be plain? Another brick on the wall?"

"No! Obviously, yet..." she trailed off, not really knowing how to defend her point.

"Would it help you to know that red's my favorite color?" he asked.

"Not really," she stuck her tongue at him.

He chuckled. "Well I'm glad you never dyed it or cut it," he said. Grabbing a free strand of hair, he twirled it around his finger. "You look beautiful with long hair."

She couldn't help the blush that tainted her face. "Are you always this disgustingly romantic? Or is tonight a special occasion?"

"Are you always this uncomfortable with compliments? Or is tonight a special occasion?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?" Minato imitated, in high, whiny voice.

"You are acting like an idiot."

"You are acting like an idiot."

"Stop it!"

"Stop it!"

"I have erectile dysfunction."

"I have-No I don't!"

Kushina burst out laughing. "Seriously? You can't be that insecure."

"I'm not," Minato protested, watching her with a slight blush. "I just don't want any potential rumors to spread."

"As if I'd tell anyone we slept together." She waved her hand, laughing.

"Ouch," he smiled, grabbing her hand to sit her up. "You sure know how to kick a man when he's down."

"It's what makes me special." She smiled, watching him watching her.

It had been three years since they had last seen each other, but he still had the same expression on his face. An expression she wished he didn't have, but at the same time, wished it would never disappear. She didn't know what it was about him. About his persona. What he had that made her fear him, even if she knew, that in his eyes, she would always be special. It was almost as if, the more he loved her, the more scared she was, but at the same time, the more she wanted to return that love. She wanted to make him happy, her heart just wouldn't let her.

"You grew your hair out," Minato commented, brushing a few strands from her face.

"What? And only now are you noticing?" Kushina teased, a little uncomfortable at the way he watched her.

He sighed. "Why can't you ever be serious?"

His question surprised her. What was she suppose to say about that? "What? So you actually realized I grew my hair out. What is the big deal?"

"Kushina..." Minato murmured, but he never finished the thought. He just left it lingering there, in the air.

Kushina looked at him. He was having some sort of inner conflict, like he couldn't decide what to do next. Maybe this had all been a bad idea.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, looking at the time.

"Um sure," she raised her eyebrow. "Want to order something or..."

"You insult me Uzumaki," Minato feign hurt.

"What? You cook?" Kushina asked, amazed at the revelation.

Minato scratched the back of his head. "Well I'm no gourmet chef, but yes, I cook."

She still wasn't convinced. "It's not going to be something out of the microwave, is it?"

He gave her an annoyed look. "Are you going to complain about everything or are you going to let me show you what a real meal tastes like?"

"Fine," Kushina sighed in defeat. She knew that when Minato got something in his head, more often than not, he'd do it.

Taking her hand, Minato lead her towards the kitchen, where he sat her on a kitchen stool instructing her not to move.

"At least let me help you with whatever it is you are making."

"What kind of host would I be if I let you do that?" he shook his head. "You stay here and let me do my magic."

"Is that what you tell the girls you bring here?" she wondered, slightly amused.

"I don't break the charm just for anyone," he grinned at her. "Only super models and ex-fashion designers get the full dose."

"I'm truly blessed," Kushina said sarcastically. But a thought forced her to ask, "What am I supposed to do while you are gone?"

"How about you sit, relax, and do whatever it is you girls do when you are alone?"

"I don't think it would be appropriate for me to do that here."

He laughed. "You are real pervert you know that?"

"Me? It's you who's imagining things."

He waved his hand indifferently. "Just don't get any on the couch, and try not to make too much noise. I would hate for the neighbors to complain again."

Kushina laughed at that. She had forgotten how much fun she had whenever they hung out together. If one didn't count the awkwardness of being his first crush, leaving him without an answer after his confession and making him cheat on his girlfriend. Yet they obviously had chemistry together, it was just the awkwardness of what they were expected to do afterwards that lead them to act in defense to whatever comment the other made. But she'd was learning how to relax around him. Maybe this night hadn't been that much of a mistake after all. It'll only be for tonight. She knew that, Minato knew that. And there was no reason for his girlfriend to know about it. Right?

No matter how many times Kushina told herself that Minato was as guilty in all this as she was, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow taking advantage of the drunken chick at the bar.

'But I'm not!' she scowled, getting up from the stool to stretch her legs. 'He was the one who'd kissed me. He was the one who invited me over. He's the only reason I'm here in the first place.'

"I hope you're hungry," Minato's voice broke her from her thoughts. "Dinner is almost ready."

"What did you make?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at flour stained Minato.

"It's a surprise," he winked, looking over his shoulder. "But one I know you'll love."

"I just hope it's edible."

"Trust me; you'll be licking your fingers before you're done." And with that, he returned to the kitchen, leaving Kushina more confused than amused.

She remembered the times when Minato got confused over boil water, yet now he seemed to be some kind of amateur gourmet chef. The idea made her laugh. How much could someone really change in three years? She hadn't, at least not in the life changing kind of way. But judging by his smile, Minato clearly had.

Returning to the living room, Kushina busy herself with picking the empty bottles and dirty plates, wanting to at least have a nice, clean place to eat. Which was a little ironic, since compared to her place, this was catalogue photo worthy. She cringed when she remembered the pile of dirty clothes that we're waiting for her. She'll have to do laundry soon, or else she'll run out of clothes to wear.

Her mindless cleaning brought her to the library, which Minato had filled with photographs instead of books. That was something that surprised her, since Minato was one of those people with a book under his arm, but she guessed college left no room for pleasure reading.

Browsing through the several portraits, Kushina came across one that seemed to have been taken recently, for Minato didn't seem that much younger than he was now. She took the frame in her hands and examined it intently. It was at the beach, on a winter day since both people on the photograph seemed freezing cold. There was Minato, with his dorky smile and red nose, grinning at the camera. His arms seemed to be wrapped around someone she didn't recognize, and it took Kushina a moment to divert her gaze from the smiling blonde. Next to him there as girl with wavy brown hair and the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. It felt like looking at grass on a bright summer day. She didn't seem to be affected by the cold, but that didn't drop the smile from her lips.

"That's Saskia," Minato's voice startled her, forcing Kushina to be awfully aware of how tightly she had been holding the photograph. "She a penguin when it comes to cold weather."

"That explains why she doesn't look like she's shivering to death," Kushina smiled, putting the photo back in its place. "Is she from the north?"

"South," he slipped through the kitchen door. "She's from Punta Arenas in Chile."

"Isn't that in the South Pole?"

"Almost, I think it's the southernmost city in South America." He returned with two steaming plates. "I hope you like ramen."

"You made ramen?" Kushina smiled incredulously, watching as Minato put the plates on the table.

"I remembered how much you used to love it, so I decide to give it a shot." He looked back at her with an apologetic look on his face. "It's only like the second time I make it, so be soft on the criticism."

"As long as it's edible."

"If it isn't we'll order Chinese."

But it wasn't as if Kushina was paying much attention, since she had already grabbed her plate and was sipping happily on the broth. To her surprised, her meal tasted delicious. Not only was the soup in its right temperature between hot and burning, but the noodles were soft and slim, something she had relearned from experience was not easy. She wanted to keep tasting the meal, but at the same time, was so eager to finish it, she didn't know what to do. So to keep herself from inhaling the thing, she continued with their conversation.

"So how did you end up with a girl like that?" she asked, more curious than she should be.

"With Saskia?" Minato managed to ask in between bites. "I don't know, it sort of happened."

"And how this sort of happening happened?"

"Are you really that curious?"

"Are you surprised?"

"Honestly, yes," he couldn't help but say, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. "I mean, you've never been interested in knowing who I sleep with."

"I only found you'd lost it because Inoichi practically shout it from the roof." Kushina raised an eyebrow and pointed at him with her sticks. "Which begs the question: what was there between you and Inoichi?"

"There was nothing in between him and me."

"That's not what everyone said."

"That's not what everyone said about you two either." Minato gave her a strange look, one she'd seen a million times over.

She scoffed, like she had a thousand times when anyone approached such subject. "Like I'd sleep with Inoichi."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Why would I?" she countered back, like she had so many times. She knew the script in and out.

Minato gave her a worried look. More troubled at her indifference than he should be. Was he really that worried about what had happened between them? "If you didn't, why don't you deny it?"

"Denying it only makes it worse," Kushina murmured turning her gaze back to her meal. "What's the point of denying something everyone thinks happened? It would only fuel more rumors."

"I would never talk about you behind your back." Minato reminded her, wanting more than anything than for her to confine in him.

"I know you wouldn't," she smiled at him, her face contracting with discomfort just as quickly. "Why are you so interested in this anyways? That was like, five years ago."

"You know why," was his only answer.

"Minato don't," Kushina said sternly. "You promised you wouldn't."

He looked like he wanted to protest, as if he really wanted to get into the subject at hand, but she guessed that for her sake, or for the sake of the night, he didn't push it further. It had always amazed her what his self control was capable of. As far as she was concerned, she would have jumped into it as soon as they had met, demanding an explanation to unanswered questions, pleading for his opinion and raging at just the right time so he would understand just how serious she was. But he didn't. Even thought it was obvious by the look of his face that he wanted to. Badly.

"So where's Saskia?" Kushina asked, trying to smooth the tension. "She's not going to walk in on us, now, is she? Because the last thing I need is for-"

"She's in Greenland, visiting her parents." Minato answered, not in the least altered by her earlier comment. It was as if he knew that he was cheating on her.

"Are you sure? Because the going away excuse is pretty overrated." There was just something in her mouth that kept her from saying the right things. Maybe it was for the fear of dropping back on the previous subject.

"Don't worry about it. It's a sixteen hour trip from there to here," he said not in the least concerned. "Besides, I spoke to her earlier today."

"What?" Kushina asked, confused. They had been together for the most part of the day. "When?"

"When you were off flirting with the soda guy." There was an unmistakable tone of jealousy.

"I told you I wasn't flirting!" Kushina tried once more, getting into the same argument they had this morning. "He's just an old friend of mine who-"

"It doesn't matter," Minato avoided her gaze, cutting her off. "I told you, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

Kushina frowned, her temper getting the best of her. "Then why do you keep saying it like you care?"

"Because I care!"

"But you just said-"

"That I didn't matter, but not because I don't care, because I do. I do care. But because you don't have to explain yourself to me. No, Kushina, you don't!" he quickly supplied, seeing how her mouth opened to protest. "We are both in different places now; we don't own each other anything. We are not in a relationship."

We are not in a relationship. The way he said it made her heart crumble. That was true. They were not involved. And it was all because of her, because she hadn't been able to give him a proper answer at the appropriate time. It was her fault his heart had broke more times than she could count. That she sometimes lay awake wondering how her life would have changed if she had been a little braver and had accepted his confession. What it would have been like to have made that heart skipping simple appear on his face? Would it really be that different? Would she be happy? Would have they lasted? Or would have they realized that maybe, even after everything, they were not meant to be with each other. Maybe the universe wasn't really pushing them together as she had previously thought.

"Take off your shirt." She said, before she could catch up to what she had been saying.

"What?" Minato asked, recovering from his previous mood. "Why?"

"Just do it, ok?" she insisted, pulling off her jacket and working on her own shirt. Maybe if she eased the tension things would finally get done.

"Is this some kind of weird experiment or something? Because last time I checked, it was sexier when you ripped each other's clothes off." He muttered, pulling his shirt over his head.

"But that would mean we'd play by the conventional rules," Kushina laughed, a little hesitant when she pulled on her won shirt, "which bores me to tears. Let's make this night a night to remember."

"Didn't know you liked Bryan Adams," Minato grinned, trying real hard to keep his eyes on her face.

"Didn't know you knew who Bryan Adams was." Kushina moved close to him, pointedly ignoring his obvious attempts to keeping his eyes in hers. Boys were just too easy creatures to manipulate. "I bet it's the only Canadian singer you know about."

"That's not exactly true," Minato grinned back at her. "There's Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morossette."

Her raised eyebrow alerted him. "Did you live there or something?"

"Actually did. Year after I graduation, spent most of my time in Ottawa."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"So you know how to speak French?"

Laugh. "No! I can barely remember the English I learned, let alone the few words in French I could actually pronounce."

Kushina grinned. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I don't know? Why doesn't it?" he moved closer to pull her in his arms, but she did a great job at moving away from him without it seeming like she did it on purpose.

"Take off your pants," she commanded in the same voice she'd asked to take off his shirt.

"Are you going to take yours off too?" Minato couldn't help the question, since it was starting to feel like school. Someone always telling him what do to, what to think, what to feel. He just hoped the sex wouldn't be as commanding as this.

"Duh," she stuck her tongue at him, working on her belt while he pulled his down in a swift motion.

It felt weird. Being commanded what to do, especially in a subject he knew so thoroughly, but it excited him at the same time. This was by far the most organized strip he had ever had in his life, which was saying something sine he had once dated an OCD patient. Maybe this was the way Kushina worked. Maybe this was the way she felt comfortable doing it.

Once his pants were swiftly removed, Minato looked at her with as slight blush in his face. "Ok," he said, trying real hard not to cover his chest. "Now what?"

"Minato relax," she laughed, pilling her clothes on his couch. "This is not a test or anything."

"Weird, since it kind of feel like I'm being graded here." He knew that he didn't need to feel self-conscious, but her roaming made him a little more aware of his body than he usually was.

"Well be glad you're not because you wouldn't be able to do this." And without warning she leaned forward to press her lips on his. It had a been a while since they had last kissed, and he could taste the meal on her lips.

Her hands which had previously been resting on her hips, reached for his so she could intertwine their fingers, easily pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

They had kissed a few times before, a few hours before, when they had met for the movie. It had been unintentional since he had been aiming for her cheek in their hug hello, but she had moved hear head just at the right time and their lips had smacked together. They had stayed like that more than a couple of seconds longer than it was really polite necessary, but they hadn't apologized or denied the act once it was over. It had been the perfect opportunity to steal another kiss, which Kushina had, leaving Minato more stunned than he remember being in his whole life. He was supposed to be in a serious relationship with one of the sweetest girls he'd met in his life, but that kiss had made him forget all about his green eyed girlfriend and start wondering when he could steal another kiss without seeming too straightforward.

The night went mostly uneventful, except for when Kushina had encountered a few friends of hers and had spent quite some time stalking to them, promptly mostly ignoring him. He hadn't felt that offended at the act, he understood that she needed to keep a low profile so people wouldn't make wrong assumptions about them, or so he had told himself. There was a low possibility that any of her friends knew Saskia, but people who committed adultery always comment how small the world is, since most of the time they get caught by a small link on the chain. Still, he had said hello and welcomed all the comments about his looks, something he was quite used to now.

It wasn't until the movie ended, when the credits were almost over and the theatre was almost empty, that Minato had summoned all his courage and stole that other kiss he'd been dying for. She hadn't been expecting it, since he mouth had hung open for a few seconds, no doubt about to comment on something, when he had leaned forward to kiss her, but after the initial shock wore off, she had leaned forward to peck him once, twice, three times. Neither of them had pretended they're didn't know where this was going after that.

The movie was followed by the most casual dinner in the history of dating. Kushina had taken them to a hot dog booth where they had pulled their last cents together a bought the nachos, a super jumbo hot dog, and a small sprite which they had shared. Afterwards, penniless and still hungry, they had decided to get back to Minato's apartment, which was a little more out of the way that they had thought. Thirty two blocks was no laughing matter, even if one of them had been an active member of an athletic team. So they had decided to sneak into the subway station which turned out to be a complete failure since neither could stop laughing. Thankfully they were faster than the guard and managed to get away before they could be charged for the ride.

Minato was expecting for Kushina to kiss him good night and get on her way once they had reached his apartment door, but her lingering presence told him that she didn't want to leave just yet, which prompted for him to kiss her senseless. Leading them to present events.

Minato discovered that getting lost in his day dream was not something he should do fairly often, since he didn't remember when they had moved from the living room to his bedroom to Kushina laying against his lap. Her lips were not less eager and her hands were all over, but there was sense of self restrain in her that he hadn't been expecting. Maybe he should stop and actually ask her if she was ok with this, but his sentimental hunger pushed him further on her.

"Minato," Kushina murmured pecking the edge of his lips.

"Hmm?" he didn't want to stop, but it wasn't like he could ignore her.

Her hands moved to the edge of his boxers. "Are you sure about this?"

"What?" that brought him back to earth. Her words felt like a bucket of ice cold water on a winter day. "What?"

She opened her eyes to look at him. There was a confused look on her eyes. "What?"

"Why would you say that?" he demanded, wondering why she would take it this far if she was having second thoughts.

"Because I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning to you cursing about what is about to happen." She shook her head, getting off the bed. There was something that wasn't right here. "If you don't want to do this, then don't. I don't want to force you into anything. And I understand if you don't want to, I mean, it would involve cheating on Saskia."

"Why aren't you asking me this now?" honestly, couldn't she find a better timing for such questions?

"Why are you not answering the question?"

Minato was about to open his mouth and tell her that all self doubt went down the drain the second she'd kissed him, but another thought pushed any comments out of his lips. "Are you...are you having seconds thoughts about this?"

If she was...if she really was having second thoughts about sleeping with him, even in the one night stand standard, he...he would...he didn't really know what he would do about it. He'd been literarily waiting for his moment ever since he'd see her for the first time in first grade with her scowl, arms crossed and glaring at her mother who'd been talking to a teacher at the time. She'd worn a purple dress, black sandals and pig tails, which she had undone the moment her mother had walked out the door, but not before whipping her mother's kiss off her cheek.

"No!" Kushina answered a little too fast for his linking and in such a way that made him realize that she hadn't meant it.

"Kushina-"

"No." She said more firmly.

"Kushina-" he tried again, taking her hands in his.

"No, Minato, no." She squeezed his hands forcefully, trying to get her will to reach him. "No. This was my idea after all."

It had been, indeed, but that didn't mean she was sure about what she was doing.

Minato gave her the weirdest look she'd ever seen. It was almost as if he was looking for some kind of answer of her face. "Have you?" He asked searching her eyes. "Slept with anyone, I mean." She opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "The truth. I won't accept anything but the truth."

For a minute she considered lying to him, telling him what she knew he wanted to hear. She could be a fairly good lair when she wanted to be. The problem was that as much as she wanted to say what he wanted to hear, she knew that once he found out she'd been lying about it, well...she couldn't exactly predict his reaction, but it wouldn't be a pad on the shoulder and an understanding look. So she said the only thing her mind could wrap itself around.

"No," she whispered, not looking at him in the eye. "I haven't."

"Then why-"

"Because I won't be able to find anyone better than you." The words were out before she could stop them. She hadn't meant for that to get out, but her mouth had spoken before she could help it. "Because even thought I know this won't turn into anything afterwards, it is you who I want to take it. And it would mean a lot to me if you did. In another way, obviously."

Kushina regretted her speech the minute it left her mouth. What was it about it that just wouldn't obey what her brain told it to do? She hadn't meant to reveal that crucial piece of information to Minato. She hadn't meant for it to happen this way anyways, since she knew that once the act was done, he would find out, but since it was already done, he couldn't really do much about it. Except, of course, be mad about something as irrelevant as taking the virginity of someone without even knowing it. But now that she had finally said it, she was kind of glad that it was out there. Maybe it would one more thing he wouldn't end up cursing about tomorrow morning. That's if this actually happened, for he seemed to be having second thoughts.

Minato stare made her regret her lack of garments. For some inexplicable reason, she suddenly felt self-conscious about her body; even going as far as to wonder why she'd had the nachos at the movies instead of a diet soda. His gaze was piercing, penetrating. It was as if he was looking at all those times when she'd been offered to get the deal done, but she had turned them down for one reason or the next, and judged her about it. It was almost as if he blamed her for this. As if he didn't want her to be her. And it made her sad to realize that maybe, after all, he had really changed on that matter.

"Kushina I..." Minato blinked, trying to piece together his thoughts. "I...I...are you even sure about this?" her glare made him recoil. "I mean, are you sure about this?"

"Wow that really explained it all," Kushina murmured sarcastically, rolling her eyes at him.

"You know what I mean."

"And you know how I feel."

"No. I don't. I actually don't."

Kushina sighed, knowing perfectly well she wouldn't be able to get away with this without a proper explanation. "I, Uzumaki Kushina, swear on my life that I know and understand the implications of intercourse with you, Namikaze Minato, and therefore declare-"

He laughed at her expense. "But, we are not even in love with each other." He smiled, taking a lock of her hair and twirling around in his finger.

Kushina raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you are one of those people who think that sex is only reserved for 'the one'?" his silence answered her. "Minato!"

"What?" he asked, raising his hands over his head. "So I'm a romantic! Kill me. Besides, it's what most people tell us anyways. It's what society thinks. It's what we were taught."

"But that doesn't mean I have to agree with it."

"What?" he laughed, trying to see the humor in her comment. "Don't you think that it should be reserved for someone you care about?"

"No." But before he could judge her, she continued. "No. I don't think sex should be an act of two people in love, or two people who care about another deeply or any of that cliché bullshit. Sex, is a physical act, one you should be allowed to do with whomever you want as long as you are a hundred percent aware of what you are doing and to whom you are doing it." Her tone never wavered, her gaze never faltered. She was more confident about this than the fact that the sky was indeed, blue. "Whether is the pool boy who's cleaning your house for the first time or, in my case, a long time high school crush that never came to fruition."

"Wow," Minato smiled, looking at her with mock shock. "I bet you don't even know what that word means."

"Nah..." she grinned, moving to sit on his lap. "Do you?"

But Minato didn't answer. He just leaned over her and kissed her. He still couldn't remember when was the last time they'd spoken to each other in such an honest and fair way. They been short friends in high school, something he had taken advantage of when he continually questioned her about her relationship status, her type or just something as simple as to know if she found it chivalrous or sexist if he were to open the door for her. They hadn't been the best for friends, that he'd known from the very beginning, but at least the fleeting friendship they'd both agreed upon made his heart warm whenever the thought of her crossed his mind. The only difference was that he never imagined her agreeing on something as intimate as what they were about to engage in.

Minato had had a fairly amount of girlfriends before. An exact number that balanced experience with good reputation. He was considered knowledgeable enough to know where everything was, but not have that much experienced that it would designate him as a conceited player with a big head. He'd had a few relationships in school with some of his classmates, some outside and some with older women. And even if he had been catalogued as a heartbreaker, those past girls had broken his heart far more times than he remembered hurting them. He just wondered in what state his heart would be after tonight.

The stripping of their garments had a been a quick, easy, smooth job. Kushina needed only to pull on the waist of his boxers before the garment was off in a swift graceful motion (something that made Minato wonder if she really had never done this before). But when time came for him to work on Kushina's underwear, he had faced a slightly more complicated matter.

At first Minato hadn't been too decisive about what he should do about it. Be it any other girl he would have gone through the ritual like he'd always done, kiss her and move his hands so he could swiftly get her clothes off without her being self conscious about it and then move to caress her private parts in a way he knew women loved. But with Kushina that tactic didn't seem the appropriate one. She didn't seem like the type who would grow self conscious about her body or the bold kind who prefer to take everything off before moving onto the next step, or the kind that was so insecure that forbid him to even cast a small glance (but he really shouldn't generalize for it had happened only once the girl had been fine once the lights had been turned off). So, slightly panicked, he noticed just how worked up they were growing with an obstacle in the way.

He tried massaging her back gently, working his way up to the clasp of her bra, but his touch tickled her and her laughter interrupted him.

"Don't do that," she giggled, cupping his face in her hands so she could command it as seriously as the situation allowed.

"Sorry," he had muttered, grinning shyly. Leaning forward to kiss her Minato wondered what he should do about this. If that approach didn't work he would have to try others, problem was he couldn't seem to be able to get his mind to focus on the matter, instead it wondered how perfectly warm Kushinas's skin was under his, or how lovely she smelled or how he yearned for her every little piece of moan or giggle that indicate she was enjoying what he was doing. Thankfully Kushina picked up on this before he even had the chance to admit it out loud.

Stopping in middle of their kiss, Kushina pushed Minato away slightly and moved her hands to unhook and pull of her bra and panties, giving him an amused look afterwards.

"If you were having that much trouble," she said, pecking him on the lips once, "you could have just asked me nicely."

Minato laughed. She could have the weirdest timing on things.

Intertwining their fingers, he urged her to relax, knowing perfectly well that her off handed comments and slightly humorous tone pretended to hide just how nervous she really was. It was understandable; most of them heard awful disgusting things about want to expect, most of which were a profound exaggeration in his opinion. Although he knew that the moment they would come together would be painful for her in a way he would never understand, he was keen to make this as special for her as their casual and unprepared moment would allow him to, going slow when it was needed, kissing enough times to try and make her forget about the inevitable pain and whisper to her to let him know if things got out of hand, for he was intended to make himself stop if she asked him to.

When her painful whimper threatened to escape her mouth as he pushed himself inside of her, his grip on their intertwined fingers tightened and his mouth closed over hers. It was his attempt to let her know that he understood, that she could squeeze his hands as tightly as she needed to bare the pain and that he would try to slow his pace down, for a rapid one would hurt her even further.

Her whimpers didn't cease the first couple times, which made his work a little more difficult that he remembered it being so, but then again he was biased, for his first time had been with an old experienced woman he'd met a few years ago. Prompting her to relax was not working. She grew more uncomfortable with each passing minute and her breathing became hollower as he grew more bothered, but his ministrations didn't stop, they just became gentler.

An undefined amount of minutes passed. Her grip became a little loser, her breathing a little more relaxed, and her moans a little louder. She was finally getting to the sage when her body didn't reject his. That made him hope that maybe he wasn't hurting her as he thought he was. After that, she grew more enthusiastic about the matter.

He couldn't say exactly how long it took her, since each minute was blurred by an infinite amount of things between their hollow breath and the rustle of the sheets or the growing temperature of the room, but she finally succumbed to pleasure when his last final stroke filled her inside. The grip on his hand had lessen, her voice grew tired and her heavy panting told him that even though the first few minutes had been excruciatingly painful, the joy of it all had found her and she had been able to enjoy it after all. Now if only his body didn't crush her and she would be permitted to breath more freely, that would improve the matter.

So, once Minato rolled off her, Kushina was allowed to take her first big sigh. It's was done. Gone. Her virginity was done. Gone. Given away. And for some reason, she couldn't decide how she felt about it. She knew, from all those cliché, chick flick movies and novels that she should be happy about it. Minato wasn't some random guy she'd met at a bar and had hooked up with on a cold lonely night only to roger about him on the first rays of light. But nor was Minato the love of her life. Sure, she'd spent most of her school life struggling with confusing feelings that juggled between uncomfortably realizing that someone actually had a crush on her to actually admitting to herself, if not a little bit late, that those awkward feelings she'd once felt toward him had inexplicably turned overnight into actual affectionate feelings. A crush, she used to call it. A crush that sooner or later would burn itself out to give room for another crush on another guy, which for some reason never happened.

Sure, she'd had plenty of crushed on her twenty years, some a little more disturbing than others (like that one time when she'd inexplicably grew this attraction for a cartoon character for one of her favorite shows), which lead to a few relationship that had never ended up in anything. Maybe it had been those stored feelings that had never left her. Maybe those unresolved feelings prevented her from indulging too much in her relationship, or maybe she had just been waiting for the "right guy" to come along. Problem was that since she'd allowed herself to think about that constant nag on her stomach whenever Minato walked by, she'd never consciously realized that crush had turned into something she wasn't able to define. But strangely enough, when the time had come to give herself to her partner, she'd stopped him, leaving him heartbroken since she had never explained herself.

Minato. At that moment she'd thought of Minato. And that's when she came to realize, that this moment, this act, this first time would be his. She'd found him, found a way to seduce him, and give him everything she'd been storing for twenty years. But now it was done and she didn't even know how to feel.

Suppressing a yawn Kushina looked over to her companion. His eyes were closed and so was his mouth, which made her giggle softly; she'd always figured he'd be a drooler. Reaching with her hand, she brushed a few strands of blonde hair from his face. For someone who claimed to be so experienced he sure had fallen asleep quick enough, but she couldn't be too hard on him, he had done most of the work after all. Working her way around the covers, Kushina pulled one of the sheets with her, careful not to wake Minato up, last thing she wanted was for him to give her a third degree on where she was going, which begged the question, how was she going to call for a cab? She wouldn't be able to use his phone, for the clicking of the keys would wake him up, nor was she stupid enough to get one right on the street at this hour. Even if Japan was proud enough to call their crime rate one of the lowest in the world, she wouldn't be taking any risks. There were creeps everywhere. Even on desert islands. So making up her mind to call the taxi company from her cell phone, Kushina decided it was about time she headed home. It was getting late and she'd hate to find her cat by the door waiting of his food.

Looking around former clothes, Kushina cursed to herself. It had been her idea to undress in living room, leaving her to only her under garments. She'd have to remind herself the next time she would kiss and leave, to at least leave the clothes nearer so she wouldn't be forced to walk around half naked. Grabbing her bra and panties she threw them on, letting the sheet fall at her feet and wondered if she shouldn't at least take Minato's clothes into the washer. It was the least she could do for Minato after all he'd done for her. And since she wouldn't be the one who ironed it and put it back on it seemed like a good idea. A quick swift cycle wouldn't kill her. Sighing silently she left the room and headed for the laundry room, shoving the bed clothes with some of Minato's briefs and a white shirt and pressed the button for the gentle cycle. Now all she had to do was find her clothes and get the hell out before Minato woke up. But as she was struggling with her pants the picture that had once captured her attention called to her once more.

Saskia. Minato had called her Saskia. A Chilean born, green eyed beauty who was currently his girlfriend. Once more she wondered how Minato had ended up with a girl like that. Things never "sort of happened "as he had put it. Things were made and done and you had to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life. So how had Minato met such a girl? Had they been introduce by one their friends? Had they crashed into each other? Or had they ran over each other so many times they had decided it was time they would get to know one another and actually ended up dating? Was that why Minato had kept this particular photograph? Nobody had frames anymore, not ever since Facebook and the digital cameras happened. So why had this particular moment been so special that he had actually decided to print it out and get a frame for it so he could exhibit it to anyone who came over? Had it been their first date? Or their first kiss? Or their first time? Was that why he had kept the picture? Because it reminded him of that first time when they had slept with other another? First times were usually special in relationship, but for him to actually keep this picture he would have - suddenly Kushina realized how tightly she'd been griping the frame. A little more pressure from her part and it would break. Setting the picture down Kushina tried to cool her head. She was jealous, she realized. She was jealous of Minato's girlfriend.

"I thought you'd left." His voice startled her out of her thoughts making her jump a little.

Crap. She was supposed to have been able to slip out of there before he even realized she was gone, but that small nap he had taken hadn't been enough for him to forget she'd been there. She'd have to make some kind of excuse before he realized her true intentions. "Why would you think that?" she asked, turning to give him a small smile. "Only got up to get some water."

"Why are you pants on?" he asked skeptically, rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his hand.

She scuffed. "Well I, unlike others, don't feel that comfortable with my body."

"With that?" Minato gestured to her flat stomach. "Are you serious?"

"I'm entitled to my insecurities."

"Baseless ones, you mean."

"They're not baseless, they are just-"

"Made up?" he grinned at her.

"No!" she couldn't help the grin herself.

His laugh echoed through the apartment. "But really," he said, moving toward the kitchen. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep?" she offered, reducing the grin to a sheepish one.

"After such workout?" Minato asked, returning with an apple in his hand.

"Are you going to keep parading around the apartment in your birthday suit?" Kushina asked pointedly avoiding his question. Her plans on leaving were ruined, now if only she could think of another way to leave without him taking it personal. "I doubt you're across the street neighbors will enjoy the show."

"What? This?" Minato posed, acting indifferently to his nudity. "I don't think anyone would mind."

She sighed. Leave it to him to find a joke in something completely random. "You are just like the rest of my family," she handed him her shirt. "I mind ok? So put this on."

"Why?" he asked, taking her hands in his and pulling her to him. "It's bad enough that you are dressed."

"Well forgive me for not being one of those nudists." She frowned, pushing him away slightly. "I'm not that comfortable with my body."

"Why?" he asked once again, casting a big glance at her exposed upper body. "You have great body."

"You are only saying because you slept with me."

"Partly." He grinned, picking her up in his arms. It amazed her how someone so lanky was so strong. Maybe it was the post sex endorphins that made him so strong. Or maybe he discovered her plan on leaving and forced himself to convince her to stay.

"So you admit it?"

"I'm not denying it, am I?"

"You are not admitting it either."

"How about we skip all this talk and return to bed?" he suggested, laying her back on the sort mattress. "I got cold while you left."

"What do I look like?" she grinned, allowing him to take her pants off. "A human blanket?"

"No," he pushed her against the pillows. "But you could make this night so much more pleasant if you were to stay longer."

"Have you never heard of one nights stands?" she teased, spreading her legs a little wider so he could work on her panties.

"Yes," he kissed her stomach, "but they usually come with fake names, made up phone numbers and a hopeful expectation of getting a call afterwards."

She laughed, his hands tickling her. "And how is this different?"

"Well for one I know you real name," his mouth moved from her belly button to her collar bone were he found a surprisingly tender spot he chose to nibble. "And, are you that eager to leave?"

The question caught her slightly off guard. She hadn't been expecting him to ask her that at the moment. They both knew this was a onetime thing, or at least she expected him to understand that, but the way he had asked the question and the way these eyes bore into hers made her wonder: was she that eager to leave?

No. Suddenly all her guilty thoughts, all her fear of his prejudice, all the feelings of feelings of self loathing had disappeared and had been replaced by the warmth of his lips and softness of his words. Her thoughts had changed in such an abrupt way that she had surprised even herself. Would this moment last forever? She wondered.

More than a couple of minutes passed, but Minato was in no authority to know exactly how many. Twilight had been long gone, but dawn seemed so far away too, that he couldn't help but wonder, had time stopped? Had the world stopped turning? If he were to look outside would he find a frozen population? And did he really have to think about that at this very moment? He was having a memorable moment at the time, so why bother and question something he didn't want to have answers to? The only thing that should matter now was the way her lips covered his eyelids, sending tickles down his spine and yearning up his brain.

"Are you awake?" she whispered, tracing her hand from his abdomen to his cheek, caressing it tenderly.

"Why would I go to sleep?" he asked, opening his eyes to look at her. She shrugged. "Are you tired?"

"Just a little," she said, suppressing an obvious yawn from her mouth.

Minato laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. "It's completely normal to feel tired after sex."

"How would I know that?" she giggled, resting her head on his chest. "First time remember?"

He raised a mocking eyebrow. "Have you never seen a movie with a sex scene in it?" her laugh answered him.

"Are you comparing this to a movie?" she asked, wrapping her arm round him. "Because if you are..."

He groaned. "Enough with the size jokes," he moaned, playing with her hair. Why was she always masking discomfort with humor?

"Because is easy to tease you about it."

"Well there's so much a guy can take about his penis." He tried to brush the hair from her face, but the more he pin it back the more it got lose again. "Even if it comes from someone he loves."

He'd said it. He had finally found the courage to say it. It had only take him, what? Fifteen years? A supposedly one night stand? A numerous amount of girls? Now all that was left to wonder was what she thought about it.

"I'm sorry, Minato," she whispered, the hand that'd been drawing small circles on his chest, hesitated for a moment.

"What for?" he asked, lifting his head from the pillows so he could look at her face. She had hidden it from his view though, so he rested it back on his hands.

"I knew how you felt about me all along," she continued, never pausing her ministrations on his skin. "I knew about your feelings for me all along."

"You did?" he asked, amazed that she had known all along but never chose to comment on it.

"I did." She confirmed, turning over to rest on her stomach. "I was scared though."

He raised a confused eyebrow. "Scared of what?"

"Of everyone!" she confessed, not daring look his way. This was something she rather have to herself. "I was so insecure back then. I took what people thought of me into account far too often. I feared that if I showed the least bit of romantic interest toward anyone they would make fun of me and life would never feel the same afterwards."

"But who cares about that now?" Minato asked, sitting on his elbows so he could get a clearer look of her. "What really matter is that you love me and I love you. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter as long as we are both together."

Kushina smiled when she notice his use of present tense. "I knew that. I knew that if our feelings for one another were true enough, we wouldn't really care what others thought of us, but," she lifted her head to look at him in the eye. It wasn't easy. He was giving her this look she couldn't really understand. It was almost as if he resented her for not trying. "I wasn't completely sure of my feelings for you back then."

Minato gave her a desperate, confused look. "But you just said-"

"I know, but let me explain," she whispered taking his hand on hers, trying to calm him down. The last thing she needed was for him to jump into any conclusions. "I'd...never really thought of you that way. I mean I did, but I didn't at the same time."

Minato waited for her to continue. She wasn't making any sense, at least he didn't think so, maybe if he gave her enough time she would try and make him understand yet she never continued. "What...do mean by that, exactly?"

"Ok, remember that one time back when we were in first grade? When we were seated in the far back of the class, right next to one another?" she turned to look at him, expecting to find a knowing glint on his eyes, but only found confusion. She knew she wasn't forming the right picture, but it was the only train of thought that allowed her to explain what she wanted to say. She could always delve deeper if he got too confused. "This is going to sound a little crazy, but I remember that day like it'd been yesterday." Turning to stare at her hands, she continued with her story. "I remember that we were sitting next to one another for some reason and we were talking about...no...I don't remember what we were talking about, yet, for some reason or another we ended up talking about each other's crush, which seemed rather silly, seeing as we were barely seven years old."

"Does she go to this school?" seven year old Kushina asked excitedly, leaning closer so she could whispers better.

"Yes," Minato blushed, not daring to look at her in the eye.

"Ok then," she smiled eager to know such secret. "Who is it?"

"I can't tell you," he'd whispered back, his blush deepening.

"Why not?" she persisted, wondering what the big secret was. Why bring up something you can't tell? Unless... "Is it someone I know?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Is she in this class?"

He nodded again, this time a little less eagerly. "Yes."

"Is it one of my friends?" she wondered, wanting to get more clues on this mysterious girl.

"No." He denied, looking mortified.

Kushina sat back with a frown. It couldn't be this hard; there weren't that many girls in the class. If only she could get more clues about her, like what was her hair like, or what letter did her name start with?

"She's in this row," he gesture for their row at the back.

Her face light up. That made it a lot easier. "Is it Mikoto?" she asked, both turning to look at the dark haired girl sitting on the far left, leaning against the wall. She seemed a little lost in thought, like she was paying doubtful attention to whatever the teacher had been saying. If it really turned out to be her, Kushina would have to tell her all about it. It was only natural, seeing as best friends didn't keep secrets from one another.

"No," Minato shook his head, looking back at red head. There was a weird glint in his eyes.

"Then..." Kushina looked at the girl sitting besides Mikoto. "Is it Akiha?" she asked, wondering if Minato too liked Miss Perfect.

"No." Minato denied once more, looking over to said girl in disgust. Maybe she wasn't the only one who hated her.

"So it's got to be Seira," Kushina smiled, happy to know she'd finally cracked who it was. She didn't blame Minato. Seira could be pretty nice, when she wasn't around her friends.

"It's not Seira," Minato shook his head, smiling a little bit.

"Then who?" she asked frustrated. There were only five desks one occupied by Mikoto, which Minato had denied, then there was Akiha, but she wasn't it either, nor was it Seira, then there was Minato and finally, against the far wall there was her desk. Since she doubted it was her, Kushina concluded that Minato had to be either lying or pretty in love with himself.

"...and I kept on asking you who it was remember?" Kushina asked, watching as a very old, very familiar glint light his eyes.

"I remember," Minato laughed, falling back on bed to lay his head in his hands. "I'd been trying to tell you that you were the one I liked without actually having to tell you, but no matter how many ways I tried to phrase it, you wouldn't get it."

"Until you actually came out and said it." Kushina smiled fondly at the memory. She had been a real dork.

"If I hadn't spelled it out for you, you would have spent all day trying to figure out something that was right below your nose."

Kushina shrugged. "I guess the thought of someone actually liking me was not something I could grasp, you know?"

His gaze turned back to her. "Why not?"

She shrugged once again. "I don't know. We were young. The concept of 'crush' was not something I understood, especially when it was directed at me."

"But..." he started, the confusion returning to his eyes."You called later that day."

"Who told you?" her smile turned incredulous. "I hung up before you could get to the phone."

"My mom told me," he sat up to lean against the wall. "You hung up before I could get to the phone, but my mom told me that some girl had called to say 'I like you too'. I figured it had been you but I didn't know your phone number so I never got the chance of calling you back on the matter."

"You never approached the subject at school either."

"It seemed like you didn't want to be approached!" he tried to defend his actions, failing miserably when she gave him an incredulous look.

"But I did!" she yelled in disbelief. How can someone so smart be so oblivious about such an obvious matter? Sure, she had been a little scary back them, but she had grown out of her untamable persona. Sort of.

He cupped her face in his hands forcing her to look at him. "And why didn't you?" he asked, wondering how many more opportunities they had missed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She ignored him. She wouldn't be able to explain herself if he didn't let her finish her tale. "And do you remember our first party? The one at Shikaku's house? Where everyone had dressed up for such a formal event?"

He did. That had been the night he had gathered enough courage and asked her for a dance.

"Just do it," Chouza had encouraged him. It was easier said than done, but someone had to point out the obvious. Kushina. What's the big deal? It was Kushina, just another one of his classmates, but when he got a better look at Minato and the eyes he was giving her, he understood. He was entranced. Uzumaki Kushina would never be 'just a girl' to Minato. She was special, in a way he still needed to learn. When Minato didn't move, Chouza sighed. He would never get anywhere if he kept standing there, but he needed to make it obvious for the blonde without hurting his pride. Giving his friend a promising pat on the shoulder, he said. "There worst thing that could happen is she could say no."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about." Minato moaned in distress, never taking his eyes of the red head girl.

"Why?" Chouza wondered, following Minato's gaze. "If she says no tonight, you'll still have tomorrow."

The blonde turned to smile at him. "You really think is that simple?"

"Life is not as complicated as people set it out to be," Chouza shrugged, like he had no care in the world. "If you stop and over think every single action you take, you won't be able to enjoy the little things, and sometimes those are the ones that count the most."

"You sound like a fortune cookie." Minato teased, giving him a punch on the shoulder.

"Someone has to, or else Chinese restaurants will go out of business."

Minato sighed in defeat. Chouza was right. Worst case scenario she said no, and if he stopped and over though about it he might end up coming with an overly complicated reason as to why she did it and keep himself from enjoying the rest of the night. Besides, there was a slight chance she could say yes.

So bracing himself to what he felt was going to be the most important moment of his life, Minato walked towards the red haired girl, who was now dragging one of her friends on to the dance floor. 'You can do this Minato. You know what you have to say. Just try to not stutter too much and look at her straight in the eyes.'

"Um, Kushina?" he asked, taking her hand in his to grasp her attention. "Would you like to dance?"

"What?" she'd yelled over the loud music. She had either not heard him or had found his question disbelieving.

His heart raced. He tried again, this time a little louder. "Would you like to dance?"

"No," she'd answered, freeing her arm from his touch, almost as if she had been afraid of him. "No." She repeated, taking the other girls hand and walking away from him.

"You wereso forthright," her voice broke him out of his thoughts. "You were so honest."

"Why did you refused?" he wondered, turning his wondering gaze towards her. He had always wondered.

"No one had ever asked me like that before," she held his gaze. "I guess my fears took the best of me."

"And not for the first time," Minato muttered bitterly. "Remember all those times I asked you to be my girlfriend?"

"I thought you'd been joking!"

"Well I wasn't!"

"I-"

"That one time in sophomore year, when I asked you to be my girlfriend and you'd accepted. I felt...I was so happy. I was so damn happy for the five minutes it had lasted." He took her hands in his, squeezing them tight. "Until you denied it in front of everyone."

"Are you guys dating?" Inoichi asked Kushina, looking curiously at Minato.

She laughed. "Off course not!" she waved her hand, as if she wanted to wave the thought out of everyone's mind. "It's supposed to be a joke. Isn't that right Minato?"

"I thought you'd been joking..." Kushina murmured, turning her eyes from his to look at their joined hands. The pain in his eyes was palpable.

"I blame myself really," Minato muttered to himself, ignoring her. "I should have kissed you right there for everyone to see."

Sudden anger boiled inside of her. "Then why didn't you?" she asked, slamming her palm against the mattress. "I begged you to kiss me. I confessed! I told you how I felt! And yet, you remained at distance, like you always have."

"I had a girlfriend back then!" Minato defended himself, glaring at her. How could someone evoke such contradicting feelings inside of him? He felt like kissing her and laying her down against the mattress so he could take her again, but at the same time, he was furious at her naïveté and wanted to smack some sense into her. "I couldn't just cheat on her."

"Right," She muttered sarcastically. "Because you've been so fateful to all your relationships."

His patience dissipated. "My personal life has-" but he didn't finish, for her lips were forcefully smash against his.

It wasn't the first, or the second or the third time he'd tasted her lips. The softness of the skin, the tenderness of the touch, the warmth of the action. He knew all about it. But for a second he thought he was experiencing it all for the first time.

When they leaned back she gave him a small apologetic smile. "That's all I wanted," she stroke his cheek with her finger. "That's all I was asking for."

"Why didn't you say it?" he whispered, surprised at her straight forwardness. He hadn't been the only one who'd changed over the years.

"Because I didn't want to force you," but before he could open his mouth to protest on her statement, she continued. "Remember graduation day? When you gave me your teddy bear?"

"...and now I present to you Tokyo High School graduating class of 2008!"

Everyone cheered. Kushina had the small sense of throwing her hat in the air, but everything was a blur. The diploma in her hands slipped, but she didn't have the time to kneel down and take it, for a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her neck and pulled her into a heartwarming hug.

"We are graduates!" Mikoto yelled in her ear, making Kushina wonder where the quiet polite girl had gone. "We are finally graduates!"

Kushina laughed, returning her friends hug. "I know! Can you believe it?"

"Honestly I never thought this day would ever come," a third voice made the girls turn.

"We're all surprised you made it this far, Inoichi," Kushina teased, giving the blonde a hug. "I guess all those cheat sheets really did the trick."

"And to think you are going to medical school," Mikoto commented, walking up to the blondes open arm. "I'd love to see you stress out over finals or see you faint at the sight of blood."

"Don't worry girls," he crooned, pulling them closer. "I'm not leaving forever; you'll be able to see me again on school reunions."

"So we can make fun of your new hair duo?" Kushina laughed, pulling away. "I'd love to see what you dye it next."

"Maybe a pink shade?" Mikoto suggested. "It would go well with your complex."

Inoichi went on to say something about choosing a more manly color shade, but Kushina didn't really pay attention, for her eyes had locked on another certain blonde talking to a few girls on her far left. He seems to be holding far more stuffed animals than he could hold, but that don't stop the other girls from trying and giving them theirs. Being popular did kill.

Leaving Inoichi and Mikoto to their heated argument on what shade would go along with Inoichi's complex, Kushina walked up to the other blonde, happy to see no one had engaged him in another conversation.

"Hey," she smiled faintly, pointedly avoiding his eyes.

"Hey," he replied jus as awkwardly.

What the hell was wrong with them? They were friends, they'd had talked before! But no matter how hard Kushina tried to force her mouth to say something, nothing seemed appropriate enough.

"Um, congrats," Kushina forced out after a rather awkward silence, looking at his collection of graduating stuffed animals.

"Oh," he smiled awkwardly, trying to keep the toys from falling down. "Um thanks. I'd never thought I would get this many."

This gave Kushina courage to meet his gaze. "Come on, are you serious?" she asked incredulous. "What's incredible is that you think it's incredible."

"Heh, I guess you are right." He said, falling back into a more comfortable state. "Did you come to bring me yours?"

The question surprised her. She hadn't even thought about that! "Oh, um, yeah. I guess I did. Although I think it'd be difficult to hold that many, so here."

She gestured for him to give those he didn't want to her, leaving space for her own. Surprisingly enough, he dumped all those he'd been holding, only keeping hers.

"Thank you," Minato smiled at her. "This really means a lot."

Kushina blushed slightly but said nothing.

"Here," he said, giving her his. "It's for you, from me."

"From me to you joke huh?" Kushina laughed, taking the small thing in her hands. Her blushed deepened a little. "Thanks."

"I still have it, you know?" she smiled at him. "The teddy bear, I mean."

"You do?" Minato asked, incredulously. "I thought you would have thrown it out by now."

"Why, would I do something like that?"

"Maybe because it was such a long time ago."

"That doesn't mean it's any less special."

Her words astonished him. She had kept the thing? Even after all this years? Maybe what he had once seen in her eyes hadn't truly been part of his imagination. "Kushina?" he asked, feeling like he had the night he had asked her to dance with him for the first time.

"Hmm?" she whispered, sleep clouding her thoughts.

"Would you give us a chance?" he asked, fearing the answer. "Would you truly try?"

Her silence followed, leaving him to believe she had fallen asleep. It was late, after all, and an act like sex could really drain ones energy, but before his head was left to wander on to other thoughts, her voice asked. "Would you?"

"Off course I would!" he said, outraged. How could she stills ask that!

"You were too quick to answer."

"That doesn't make it any less truthful."

A brief moment of silence followed which was interrupted by her whisper. "For the record, nothing happened between us."

The whiplash caught him off guard. "What?"

"Inoichi," she turned her eyes back to his. "There was nothing between us."

"But he said-"

"I know," she nodded, giving him a tired smile. "But it wasn't true."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What would I say?"

Minato's eyes widened in disbelief. "How about try to clean your name? Tell everyone the truth? Beat the crap out of him?"

"What would have been the point?"

"What would have been the point?" Minato asked, bewildered. "Clean your name? Make everyone see what a lying freak Inoichi really was? Earn the respect you deserved from your peers?"

That last thing made her laugh. "Respect from my peers? You sound like a politician."

"Don't you care?" he asked his temper showing.

Kushina gave him a side long glance. It was unusual for Minato to lose his cool. She could count with her right hand the times she had seen him lose his temper and the few times it had happened, it had been so fleeting that she wondered if it hadn't been something her imagination had made up. But now he seemed more determined to let her know that not denying the rumor had been a mistake. "Why do you care do much?" she asked, really looking at him. "That happened over five years ago."

"Because it was about you, damn it!" Minato sat up, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

Kushina raised an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"How can you still ask that?" his face furrowed in anger. "After tonight?"

"Yes Minato, after tonight." Kushina scowled. She was tired of him always bringing this up. Yes, they had slept together, yes it had been her first time. Yes, she was going to remember this for the rest of her life, but couldn't he see that they couldn't be together? Even if they wanted to? "After tonight and after tomorrow and the day after that!"

"What do you-?"

"No, you listen me!" Kushina interrupted, sitting up to make a better impression on her point. "You are amazing and kind and so beautiful. I would be the luckiest girl to have you stand by my side and be there for me whenever I needed you, but you need to understand that when opportunities flee you can never go back and take them again. We had - or more like I had the chance to be with you once and yes I was an idiot not to take it because I know that you would have made me so happy, but that boat already sailed, four years ago. We had our chance and I blew it and I know - I know - that you want to try once more, but it just can't never ever be. It can never, ever, forever be."

"Why?" Minato demanded, taking her hands in his. "I love you."

"And I love you!" Kushina squeezed his hands in hers tighter. "I love you. Even if you don't believe me, even if I don't believe it myself. I love you."

She loved him? She loved him? That couldn't be true. He must have heard wrong. He must have wished for her to say it so badly that his brain misplaced the words she had just spoken. Because surely, surely she wouldn't keep them apart if that was true. "Then why? Why?"

"Because I could never make you happy." She said looking at him like she desperately wanted him to understand.

Minato dropped his mouth in awe. "What?" he asked completely lost at the moment. "What do you-?"

"I spent all my life doing, saying and being what my parents wanted me to be." Kushina turned her gaze from his eyes to their joined hands. She wouldn't be able to make her mind if he kept looking at her like he desperately wanted answers. She needed to feel like she was by herself to understand what she was about to say. "I was molded by them. They told me what to do, how to act, what to be. I wasn't allowed to say or think by myself. I was a robot, only doing what they wanted me to do, and whenever I stepped out of line to do something I wanted to do, I would get this look, like I was their greatest disappointment, like I wasn't their daughter, you know? Like they didn't want anything to do with me." Her eyes watered. She still remembered the pressure she was put into. "It wasn't until Mikoto got married that I realized I was so unbelievably unhappy, so resentful of life that I discover I had to get out. I took the first plane to Australia and disappeared for the better part of the next two years."

That had been one of the hardest but happiest days she'd ever lived. Having lived in a wealthy family had been both a curse and a blessing. She'd had the sense to save up most of the money her parents gave her, allowing her to live without a job for the first few months before she adjusted to her new home. The culture difference, language and climate had been a huge wall she almost didn't cross, but once she did, she finally got a taste of what life truly was. It wasn't in the elite colleges, high incomes and ideal gossip. It was in the little moment. She still remembered that one afternoon she had bought her fist hot chocolate with what little earned teaching Japanese. She finally felt like her own person.

"Losing that freedom, that independence..." she shook her head like she couldn't even think about it."I don't know. I don't think I could compromise that."

"Kushina, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me, I just-"

"Maybe not today or tomorrow or next year or five..." She looked at him in the eyes. She was dead serious about this. "But you will some day. Because I know you. I know you want kids and a dog and house and backyard where they can all play. You know what you want for your future."

"I know that I want you to be part of it." Minato whispered, moving his hand to stroke her cheek.

"Minato I just started living my life. I'm not about to throw it away."

No matter how many times he tried to convince her that he would never tie her down to something she didn't want to, she would shook her head and whisper that he would never understand. If they settled down she would feel obligated to always be there for him, to always have his back, to schedule her day according to his. She had once run away from that kind of life, there was no guarantee that she wouldn't do it again.

They went to bed some time afterwards. Their argument put hold for another day. Each one of them wanted different things for their future. One wanted to settle down, the other wanted to move away. They would never agree on what was best for each other, so they agreed to give their bodies a well deserved rest. Tomorrow would be another day. Minato just hoped she would stay long enough for him to be able to persuade her but by the time Minato made sense that day had finally come she was gone.


End file.
